Speech from the Baby Steps Walk to Remember
Last weekend was the Baby Steps Memorial Walk to Remember. It was a really great way to kick off Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. I gave a speech that is very close to my heart. I spoke about the death of a child like being lost in the wilderness. For me, my son Zachary has become like Polaris, the North Star, who helps guide me out of the confusing and scary place. It is always tremendously special to be able to talk about my first son and to hear his name. Within my household, we talk about Zachary all the time, but to be in the company of others who don’t find that weird or uncomfortable is truly a blessing. It was so nice to have my Mom and Step-father and my husband’s parents join us. I don’t typically ask family and friends to attend these sorts...
Read MoreBaby Steps Memorial Walk this Sunday
This Sunday, October 4, 2015, is the Baby Steps Memorial Walk in Edmonton, Alberta. I am honoured to share my reflections on this life after loss in the keynote speech. I was not able to speak at the Walk in August, as planned, because of a scary finding in my current pregnancy. If you want to read about my experience, you can click here. Feeling much more optimistic, I am looking forward to connecting with the special community of those in and around Edmonton this Sunday. There are so many who have been through the death of a child and yet are so open, welcoming and compassionate. It is an incredible group of individuals. I would encourage you, if you have lost a child, please consider attending the Baby Steps Walk or another event in your area. It truly makes a...
Read MoreWhat does Fatherhood Really Mean?
Today is International Bereaved Father’s Day – and I find myself asking: What does fatherhood really mean? The British dictionary defines “Fatherhood” as: the state or responsibility of being a father. Or do we relate more to this definition of what a “Father” is: a man who exercises paternal care over other persons; paternal protector or provider. Everyone’s experience of fatherhood is largely based on personal, lived experience. Therefore, fatherhood will likely look different to everyone. Still, it is easy to imagine a man: Rocking his child to sleep. Teaching the little boy or girl how to kick a soccer ball. Wrestling in the living room. Helping with math homework. Staying awake till the daughter comes home from a date. Instructing his son how to drive....
Read MoreInternational Bereaved Father’s Day 2015
This Sunday, September 27 is International Bereaved Father’s Day. I encourage you to reach out to a Dad you know who is living without one (or more) of his precious children. Here are some simple ways to do so: Send a text or call on the phone. Just say, “Hi, thinking of you, if you ever need to talk…” Get together with the man. Quality time means the world – even if it is just playing Mario Cart. If the man and his family are planning a time of remembrance, ask how you can support them. If you are a bereaved father, please remember: You are still a dad. It is a part of who you are, whether your child is with you or not. Embrace how you are feeling. Don’t judge yourself – and if other’s judge you, ignore them. Surround yourself with supportive people and do...
Read MoreEncouraging Test Results
ENCOURAGING RESULTS: Since I shared my “Struggling & How to Help” post a few weeks ago, I have received a few encouraging test results. I have had a lot of people ask if I have had any news, so I am sharing it here. It can be easier to write it out for all to read, opposed to answering the same questions over and over. The test results came back to me staggered. The first result was a little ray of hope in the darkness which felt like déjà vu. The second test result was a little more sunshine for my soul – but not total relief. Still, I feel encouraged moving forward. WHERE I’M AT: I have told a few people about these results and have had some of those individuals sigh and say things like, “I’m so glad everything is okay,” and “thank goodness it was...
Read MoreStruggling & How to Help
Having a baby after losing a baby is hard. Then you add a complication to the pregnancy and everything spirals. To be honest, I am struggling right now. What has happened in the last five days: I had my 20 week ultrasound last Tuesday. That night, our doctor called and said there may be something wrong with my baby’s heart and that it could be an indicator of a larger problem. I was making dinner at the time. The torrent of emotions nearly knocked me off my feet. I wept so hard both nostrils started bleeding. There was blood on my clothing and on my three-year-old son who ran to comfort me. Though I was making a new recipe that night, both Aaron and I lost our appetites after the call. At the same time, our instinctual coping mechanisms kicked-in. All I wanted...
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