Why you need support in your pregnancy after loss
In my first pregnancy after loss, I was so terrified of losing another child. I couldn’t picture giving birth to a baby that lived. It was a paralysing fear. Despite the fact that I was so eager to have and love that next baby with all my heart, that pregnancy was rough. It was a season full of anxiety. I write about this experience in my forthcoming memoir, Expecting Sunshine, which will be released April 2017 by She Writes Press. In Expecting Sunshine, I share about the conflicting emotions during pregnancy after loss, and all the things I did in the attempt to be calm and find peace. The one resounding message that I can share from that time: Support is crucial in pregnancies after loss. This may seem so obvious, but it’s not. I remember my...
Read MoreCelebrate Moms of All Kinds on International Bereaved Mother’s Day
Thank you for reading and celebrating with me on International Bereaved Mother’s Day! No two Moms are exactly alike. We all have unique birth stories. We parent differently. Discipline our kids in distinct ways. We tell our own special stories at bed time. Some Moms choose to have three babies. Some don’t have a choice. Some Moms have no babies on this earth. There are many Moms that hold one or more children in their hearts. That’s life. Life is imperfect… – and it is these imperfections that makes it beautiful, sometimes tragically beautiful. Today, International Bereaved Mother’s Day is a wonderful opportunity to celebrate Moms of all kinds. What is your story? What kind of a mom are you? How many children do you have?...
Read MoreWhy it is Important to Celebrate International Bereaved Mother’s Day
This Sunday, May 1, 2016 is International Bereaved Mother’s Day. I look forward to this date with mixed feelings. Maybe you do as well. Mother’s Day is a celebration, but for many it is a hard reminder of an incredibly painful time. The loss of a child is an experience I would not wish on my worst enemy, yet it is all too common. One in four pregnancies end in miscarriage. One in one-hundred-and-sixty end in stillbirth. More children are lost to SIDS and other causes during infancy. These deaths are more than just statistics. They are little fingers that will never learn about the world through touch. They are tiny eyes that wont have the chance to smile every time they see their Mama or Dada. They are giggles and first words and cries for attention...
Read MoreRemember your Child in Expecting Sunshine Memoir
About a year ago I asked if anyone wants their child’s name commemorated in my memoir, Expecting Sunshine: A heartwarming journey of grief, healing and pregnancy after loss. This is the final call for names! I am just finalizing the contract for publishing my book and soon the manuscript will be off with the publisher! It has been such a long process to get to this point, but I am so excited! Just to show how long the publishing process really is on a book: I wrote my memoir about my pregnancy after loss in 2011-2012. Editing it ever since, both on my own and with professional editors. Searched for an agent. Found an agent. Agent pitched my book to the big publishers. Big publishers replied: wonderfully written book BUT the subject matter is too risky for us....
Read MoreA Happy Place to Heal
What is your happy place? I always look forward to the summer. The heat and sunshine are healing for me. Nature is awakened around me, engaging every sense. Laying in the grass. Reading in the shade. The smell of flowers. The warmth of the afternoon sun. The taste of fruit, barbeque and cold drinks. The sound of bees buzzing. The vividness of greens and blues. Some people have a location. For me, above all else the summer season is my happy place. It is a season that reminds me of many good times and happiness as my first rainbow baby was born at the summer solstice in 2012. When times are rough, I need the summer heat. After Zach died, Aaron, Hannah and I traveled to Hawaii. Our savings suffered – and our grief traveled along with us – but it...
Read MoreNever Alone
Kids say the most profound things. Yesterday, Christmas Day 2015, my daughter Hannah startled me with a comment. Our family was driving to visit my parents and en route we were discussing the fact that not everyone has someone to spend the holidays with. Christmas is not an easy time of year for everyone. From the backseat Hannah said, “Mommy, you are never alone – you have baby with you all the time.” She was talking about my second Rainbow Baby, the child I am 37 weeks anxiously expecting. Then Hannah continued: “And Zachary is always with you too!” This realization made me smile. My first son, my baby that I miss dearly; he is always with me. Zachary is never far from my thoughts. My love for him never wanes. I am never...
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