Stillbirth Led Robert Munsch to Write Love You Forever
Have you read Robert Munsch’s book, Love You Forever? Do you know the story behind it? I’ve owned a copy of Love You Forever my whole life, but I didn’t understand the impetus behind the book until my sister-in-law sent me a message with the link to Munsch’s website. That’s where I learned that the author penned the song in Love You Forever after his wife had two stillborn babies. “I’ll love you forever, I’ll like you for always, as long as I’m living my baby you’ll be.” Munsch could not actually sing the song for a long time because of the strong emotions that came up when he tried. He eventually wrote the song into a book that he had intended as a children’s story but to the surprise of Munsch, and his publishers, the story appealed to people of all ages....
Read MoreRadio Silence
I have to apologize for not posting in a month. The radio silence was unintentional and I assure you I have a long list of encouraging and challenging posts stored up (coming soon). At the end of June I began my MFA (masters degree in fine art). While the focus of my studies is creative writing, my blog writing has taken a bit of a back seat to my big project on the go: my memoir. I encourage anyone who has lost a child and is struggling with grief to be creative. The arts – in all its many forms – were a huge tool I used to help along my journey of loss after Zachary died. Writing was an amazing outlet. As a part of my grad studies I am focusing on doing a first edit of my memoir. It is a huge job! The process is interesting as well because it puts...
Read MoreQuoting the wise Christopher Robin
To quote Christopher Robin: “You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.” Christopher Robin is a pretty wise kid. On the last day of summer before school was to resume, he bestowed these words upon his good friend Winnie the Pooh. He also added: “But the most important thing is, even if we are apart, I’ll always be with you.” These words came from the Disney book Pooh’s Grand Adventure, The Search for Christopher Robin by A. A. Milne. When I was reading these words aloud last night to my daughter before bed they spoke to me, almost as if they came to me alone from a little boy I imagine may share many sweet qualities with the beloved character in this story. I miss my Zachary yet try to imagine him happy, pain...
Read MoreHaving a Baby after Losing a Baby – 39 Weeks
I recently made a friend who had a stillborn baby not long ago. When we first met I was worried as I was very obviously pregnant. Instead of recoiling in disappointment, which would have been a very natural reaction, my new friend told me that my pregnancy was actually an encouragement for her. The fact that a woman can go on from losing a child to having a healthy pregnancy and baby is heartening and something she hopes for herself as well. I was surprised at this graceful and optimistic perspective and thus hope I can share here on Wanted, Chosen, Planned about my current pregnancy without causing pain for anyone who reads. I am 39 weeks pregnant and I had an epiphany the other day about the length of gestation as it relates to us who have lost a child: It is a...
Read MoreMindfulness – Alive in our Moments
When your child dies, so does your future. It’s a harsh reality but it is true in many ways. Maybe you can relate to some of the thoughts I had after my son Zachary died: We decorated the nursery… when do we take it all down? Or do we? Can we bring another child back to this room? The family dynamic I had pictured is gone and along with it my idea for vacations, activities, dinnertime table-talk. My daughter will not have a sibling close in age. I put work on hold to have kids, now what? My son won’t skin his knees bike riding, he won’t graduate college, marry or have kids of his own. Am I always going to feel this ache of my missing child? I have forgotten what makes me happy, nothing seems to do the trick, and I don’t know what the purpose of my life is...
Read More