Thawing of the Bereaved Soul

There is a magic that comes with the spring thaw. The snow starts to melt and little buds appear on the trees. Maybe you are like me and feel an internal blossoming as well. Spring makes me feel alive. The warmth opens my heart.

Zachary died in October 2010. Following his death my city of Edmonton went into its typical cold winter and my soul along with it. I spent that season distracting myself from my grief and disguising my sorrow with the busyness of life.

My heart was frozen; cold and barren like the landscape.

Another time my internal world mirrored the external was when I was expecting following my loss. In my pregnancy with Eden I ripened to full term along with the colors of spring. Eden was born at the end of June 2012.

With Eden’s arrival my heart healed a little more and basked in the beauty of motherhood as in the warmth of the summer sun.

What this leads me to believe is that life progresses in seasons and that there are seasons of the soul as well. At some points in our life we are like ice and at other times we are the hot sand on a beach. There is a time for stillness like frozen earth and a time to thaw.

My daughter Hannah is inspired to plant a garden this year.

“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3:1 NLT

If you feel trapped in your own winter of the soul, I encourage you to never give up. This too shall pass. I remember hating those words after Zachary died. “Ya, right!” I argued. “I am going to feel raw and empty forever,” but the thaw came for me and I believe it will for you as well. Seasons often change slowly and without us noticing at first. Then, once the forest has greened and blossoms have embraced the sunlight, we can step back in awe of nature’s transformation.