Grieving Children of All Ages: Reflections on the Walk to Remember, Chicago
My husband Aaron and I recently attended a Walk to Remember in Chicago as a part of The Compassionate Friends of America National Conference. (I will write more about the conference and the workshop I presented, Healing through Visual Art, in upcoming blog posts.) Something different about The Compassionate Friends, their conference and Walk from what I have previously experienced is their focus on the loss of children – and siblings – of all ages. Sometimes I get very stuck in my own experience of losing a baby that I don’t always reflect on the parents who lose an older or even adult child. I do frequently think about my living children and fear for their safety, but to be honest up until this conference I had not contemplated at length all the grieving...
Read MoreBleeding Hearts
I received a lovely email the other day from my mother-in-law. This is what she said: Hi Alexis Marie, I was out in my garden today, and the tulip I planted in Zachary’s honor after ‘Walk To Remember’ a couple years ago is in full bloom. But this year it is coming up with a shrub I had planted last year and it is in bloom at the same time. The name of the shrub – Bleeding Heart. Very special to me, and I know it would be to you as well. Love, Mom The bleeding heart. What a perfect picture of the grieving parent. For a long time I felt the jagged edges of what I could only describe as a broken heart but recently I was reading a book that used other symbolism to represent parental bereavement. Such symbols included a tea pot and a cracked nut, both able to hold...
Read MoreThe Walk to Remember & Creative Ways to Celebrate our Children other than Balloons
My family attended the Walk to Remember again this year in Edmonton, Alberta. As always it was a special way for us to remember and celebrate Zachary’s life. While I always enjoy the Walk to remember, after last year’s announcement of the world-wide helium shortage my hope was that all balloon-using events would become more creative in finding options other than balloons. For example, last year at the Walk we blew bubbles instead of releasing balloons. I know for myself, I love the idea of the balloon release in regards to remembering my son. It’s like a little piece of my love can float up to heaven and reach him where I cannot actually do so. It’s an abstract idea. A sweet sentiment for sure. For Hannah, who is three, she likes to think that Zachary is up in...
Read MoreWalk to Remember Today in Edmonton
Today is the annual Walk to Remember in Edmonton, Alberta which celebrates young lives lost much too soon. The details: Where: Bandshell, legislative grounds, Edmonton. Noon: Picnic, bring lunch and a blanket to sit on. 1:00pm: The program will begin. 1:15: The walk will begin (approx 40 minutes). 2:00pm: Return to the bandshell for a reading of the baby names. This will be my fourth year attending the Walk to Remember. It is a gentle event that will allow you the precious pause to think about your child, grieve and move forward. If you attend, please find me and say hi! I’d love to meet...
Read MoreHappy Second Birthday, Zachary
It has been almost a month since the second birthday (death day) of my son Zachary. I wanted to write about his birthday on the day, but found no time for it amongst the special family time we had planned. I meant to reflect on my blog about it the next day and the day following, but couldn’t find the words. Then a week passed and still, I could not bring myself to write. Why? I wondered. Why am I finding it so difficult to express where I am at or bring myself to share this very special day? Zachary’s birthday was full of many sweet times. We woke up in the morning as a family of four remembering our fifth. We drove to the Muttart Conservatory; a group of four glass pyramids in the heart of the city, greenhouses that glowed in the pale light of morning. We...
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