We Can Learn from Children’s Response to Death
Since the fall, I have participated in a program called Roots of Empathy. In “Roots” I bring my son Eden to a grade two class every month of the school year and the children observe Eden grow and learn. I often talk about Eden’s older sister and our family. Since the beginning of Roots I wondered if I should tell the kids about Zachary. I hummed and hawed over this decision every month and I eventually asked the program teacher if it was appropriate, or possibly too upsetting for the young children. She said, “If you are comfortable, go for it!” When an opportunity arose, I did talk about Zachary to my Root’s kids and their reaction was touching and profoundly instructive for adults on how to address death. Unlike many adults I’ve interacted with, the kids did...
Read MoreAn Unnamed Stage of Fear after the Loss a Baby
Am I regressing? I did slack in my relaxation techniques over the summer? I am starting to feel anxious for my living children’s safety on a daily basis. The thought of losing another child is never far from my mind and thus all activities, outings, even simple things are peppered with worry. If my newborn sleeps longer than normal, I lay in bed worrying about SIDS. We recently visited a farm and my two year old daughter rode a horse and I nervously stood by fretting about the animal bucking. I’m anxious about drowning at bath time and during swim lessons, choking at meals, being hit by a car as we cross the street. This I feel is the tangible reality, the daily stress of living life after the loss of a child. I have known a sorrow so great that my new-self is...
Read MoreAlexis Marie Chute, Speaker at Walk to Remember, Edmonton 2012
I have accepted the honor of being the keynote speaker at Walk to Remember this year, which will be held in Edmonton at the end of September. When I got the call from one of the organizers asking me to speak, my first reaction was one of overwhelming gratitude and humility. Walk to Remember has played an important role in my life since I lost my son and even prior. My first time attending, back in 2010, I was only two weeks shy of losing Zachary. I was 28 weeks pregnant and round, carrying my ever present grief very physically within me. My husband and I knew what was coming for our son; it was only a matter of time. A beautiful yet sad women approached me and said, “You must be so happy to be pregnant again,” as she lay a longing hand on my stomach. “Actually,”...
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