Having a Baby after Loss
I have not yet shared here, on Wanted Chosen Planned, that I am pregnant. Nor have I shared this news with all of my baby-loss friends and colleagues. My intent was to be sensitive to the grief of others. I remember when I was recently bereaved. Pregnancy announcements bothered me and the sight of round bellies had me in tears. Having a baby after loss is HARD. This blog is about life after the loss of a child and that often includes family planning and subsequent pregnancies. It is an important topic, although one I am having a hard time addressing these days… I am having a hard time because my coping mechanism this go around happens to be avoidance. It is very likely I would have avoided writing about this pregnancy at all if I didn’t feel the need to be...
Read MoreHeading to TCF Conference
This weekend, July 9 to 12, is The Compassionate Friends of America National Conference, held this year in Dallas Texas. I have never been to Dallas before but it will be my second year at the conference. Last time I presented on the use of art and creativity in healing after the death of a child. This year I am leading two workshops on rejuvenating the bereavement leader and volunteer. Knowing what to expect, I will carry my package of tissue to all the sessions. It is an emotion filled conference. The Compassionate Friends do a great job of creating an atmosphere where people can be themselves, grieve, celebrate and find community. If you have never heard of The Compassionate Friends, click here to learn more about them. What makes them unique is that they...
Read MoreHappy Father’s Day to all Dads
Dads: you matter. Your children, all of them, even the ones that have died, even if that was your only child: they matter. Love is the bond that holds us all together. Love is unbreakable, is unchanging and never lost – even after death. Happy Father’s Day to all dads! Today is for you. Please comment below and share your story. Or join the discussion on Twitter using the hashtags #stilladad and #babyloss. My handle is @_Alexis_Marie – I look forward to celebrating with...
Read MoreHow to Celebrate Bereaved Dads on Father’s Day
Bereaved dads don’t get enough support – and our society doesn’t encourage them to ask for it when they need it. My husband Aaron grieved so differently than me. We were night and day. I was open, crying, needing to talk about our loss all the time, and could not focus on day to day concerns; they were meaningless to me for so long. For Aaron on the other hand, he shoved his emotions down and threw himself into his work. He didn’t talk about Zachary very often, if ever, unless I brought him up. He said all the right things to me, but was disassociated from our loss and our relationship. This was his way of coping. It was an extremely challenging time for us both. I have learned that the typical male and female grief patterns are not right and wrong in themselves,...
Read MoreIt’s not too late to participate in Celebrating Sweeties
I am always encouraged to see the children remembered on the Celebrating Sweeties page here on Wanted Chosen Planned. Their faces and names remind me why I write this blog and encourage me to keep going with my passion for baby-loss advocacy. All our children matter. Celebrating Sweeties is an ongoing project and I welcome anyone to participate. If you would like your child celebrated, please email me at info@alexismariechute.com Send me your child’s name, birthday and a photo if you have one. A picture is not required. “I thought I would have to teach my child about the world. It turns out I have to teach the world about my child.” -Anonymous...
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