Women are the Keepers of our Family Stories

I distinctly remember a group of my girlfriends standing around talking about when we thought was the best time to announce a pregnancy. One woman said she would want to wait till her and her husband got through the first trimester; another woman reminded us that she announced her pregnancy after ten weeks. I was expecting with Zachary at the time of this conversation, unknowing of what was to come, and yet offered, “I get so excited, I usually tell as soon as I find out.” I have reasons for sharing pregnancy news early, apart from my giddy excitement, I told my girlfriends. “What if something happens and you lose the baby early? If you haven’t told anyone, where do you find support?” That conversation will never be lost from me as it was not that long afterwards...

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Let Go… or Carry on?

“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” -E.M. Forester I’m inspired by this quote by E. M. Forester, I really am, but letting go has such a negative connotation for us who grieve the loss of a child. It is against our parenting instincts. We want to hold our child close. If you get in a car accident or miss a job promotion it’s easier for people to say, “Let it go, it was just a possession, it was just a job. Something better is right around the corner.” Yes, many people who have lost a child to stillbirth, miscarriage or early infant loss do go on to have other children and find happiness, but the act of “letting go” is not the same. We don’t “let go” and forget. We don’t “let go” and leave our...

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