Giving Grace & Understanding

Giving Grace & Understanding

I’ve had several times in my life where I have experienced truly rude and insensitive people. I’m sure anyone who has lost a child has come in contact with oblivious individuals who say things that leave a sting. Yet this phenomenon is not isolated. There was a woman who yelled at me in Michaels when I accidentally budded her in line. There was a woman who told my daughter to “shut up” when she was crying in the bathroom of an art gallery. I’m sure you could add to this list. We all need to extend grace to each other. Instead of assuming the worst, let’s give each other the benefit of the doubt. I’m sure most people have good intentions. If we all were to live like this, I believe the world would be a much happier place. One of these ‘rude encounters’ occurred as...

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“Lottery of Loss” via Men Get Pregnant Too

Kenny Bodanis writes a parenting blog with the awesome name, “Men Get Pregnant Too.” I love it. Anyway, I had the awesome opportunity of guest blogging for Kenny (THANK YOU!). I wrote a post called, “The Lottery of Loss.” I figured a daddy blog would appreciate some stats and that’s what I gave them. I had a really great experience writing “Lottery of Loss,” it clicked. I talk about the stats that we want to be, the good numbers. Then there are the stats that we run from screaming. Unfortunately I became one of the unfortunate statistics when Zach died. If you are reading my blog maybe you are with me. Please visit Men Get Pregnant to and read my post. Please click here to visit “Lottery of Loss.” Read other posts by Kenny by visiting his blog:...

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Sharing My Story on “Spit & Sparkles”

I had the honor of guest blogging about losing Zachary and life after loss on the fabulous parent blog, Spit & Sparkles. The blog is about Steffany and Derrick and their long anticipated children – twins! As I have said over and over in my posts, the strength of families finding healing is through connecting and sharing with each other. Sadly, there are a lot of us and I hope my story can encourage the Spit & Sparkles readers. If you would like to read my guest blog post, please click here. Read other posts by visiting:...

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A Belated Father’s Day Wish

A Belated Father’s Day Wish

I couldn’t post on Father’s Day. I wanted to but found myself stumped. It’s tough to write about male grief when it is so different from my own experience. I have given up trying to understand my husband’s response to our son’s death. It may never click with me – and that’s okay. Men and women grieve so differently on top of the fact that every individual person will have a different experience and need support in a way that is unique to them. What I do know for sure is that marriage is difficult after the loss of a child. For some, it brings them closer, for others it tears them apart. Recently I met an older woman who has also lost a child. (Sometimes I feel like I am a magnet for people like me, but then I realize that there are simply are a lot of us. A sad...

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The Mourning Grandparent

Not long ago I received an emotional yet illuminating email from a grandmother in mourning. She read my blog and felt compelled to get in touch. This woman shared the story of how her son and daughter-in-law came to discover complications with their unborn child and that the baby was eventually stillborn. “This baby was to be my first grandchild,” the woman wrote.  The email brought me to tears as I reflected upon not only the sadness of this woman but also on what my own parents may be feeling. Kindly, this woman agreed that I could share one of her thoughts with you today. She wrote about the loss of a child: “People don’t always realize that the loss is also traumatic for the potential grandparents – we deal not only with the loss of the baby, our...

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