International Bereaved Mother’s Day
Today is International Bereaved Mother’s Day. It is a hard day for me. I am joyful, because I have this amazing opportunity to celebrate my son Zachary, who died eight years ago, BUT I am also bulldozed by sadness. I miss him. The day he was born feels like yesterday – and also a lifetime ago. I wish he was here. I doubt I will ever stop wishing this. Over spring break a few months ago, my family visited Disneyland for a couple days. As we drove to LA, we chatted as a family about our excitement. Then I said, “I wish Zachary was with us to have this fun experience.” Then the waterworks erupted. My husband, Aaron, put a loving hand on my knee as he drove. I cried big fat tears. International Bereaved Mother’s Day is another...
Read MoreCelebrating Sweeties Update
What I love about Celebrating Sweeties is that it is a safe place to publicly remember children that have died. It is an unfortunate reality that our culture doesn’t know what to say to bereaved parents. What is typically said when an older person dies – “At least (s)he lived a long, full life” – does not apply. I am hoping that this will change. That we can develop a supportive and compassionate vocabulary to talk miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, and all other kids of pregnancy loss and early infant loss – not to mention the death of an older or adult child as well. That is the goal of “The Healthy Grief Movement.” New Sweeties to Celebrate It is always bittersweet for me to add a new baby or older child to the...
Read MoreJoin me in Celebrating Children Gone Too Soon
It brings me joy when I have the opportunity to help bereaved parents share their stories. I believe sharing our experiences and the lessons we have learned is a critical part of being human. And being a part of a community. This is why I am honoured to help celebrate babies gone too soon. The commemoration page is called Celebrating Sweeties. This is a place where lives lost to miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, early infant loss – and any kind of loss of children – can be openly shared and remembered. I welcome families to contribute their children that died at any age, for any reason. Every child needs to be celebrated. Celebrating Sweeties is a safe place where any image of any baby or older child is welcomed. And if you don’t have a picture, a...
Read MoreBaby Steps Memorial Walk this Sunday
This Sunday, October 4, 2015, is the Baby Steps Memorial Walk in Edmonton, Alberta. I am honoured to share my reflections on this life after loss in the keynote speech. I was not able to speak at the Walk in August, as planned, because of a scary finding in my current pregnancy. If you want to read about my experience, you can click here. Feeling much more optimistic, I am looking forward to connecting with the special community of those in and around Edmonton this Sunday. There are so many who have been through the death of a child and yet are so open, welcoming and compassionate. It is an incredible group of individuals. I would encourage you, if you have lost a child, please consider attending the Baby Steps Walk or another event in your area. It truly makes a...
Read MoreWhen a Child Dies Please Remember: Siblings Grieve Too
I recently viewed a documentary out of Toronto presented by researcher Christine Jonas-Simpson called, “Always with Me: Understanding Bereaved Children Whose Baby Sibling Died.” This video, and the presentation given by Simpson, blew me away. I began to think about my children’s response to Zachary’s death in a new way. It may sound silly, but I never really imagined my young kids, five and two-years-old, to have their own grief. I always thought that they were sad because I was sad, or that they talked about Zachary because I did. What I realized while watching the research-based documentary: Kids have their own grief that is separate and unique from their parents. Different children will respond in different ways to the loss. It is good and healthy to talk to...
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