Love is Worth it All

Today I will be speaking at a memorial service for families who have lost babies. I am remembering Zachary today, missing him as always and wishing he was in my arms. I prepared the words I share with the utmost care, expressing my journey in the best way I know how. I hope that it can be an encouragement to even just one person who hears or for any one of you who reads it here. Please, remember with me… Did the world change over night? Food lacks a hint of flavor, the sky now an off shade of grey. My friends seem distant, career a mere time clock in mundane routine. Who is this person in the mirror? This weathered soul looking back at me? This is not my life. The world did not change. I changed. I changed the moment my son was diagnosed for death when I...

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My Story of Loss and the Death of a Normal Life

I was an ordinary person with the usual aspirations: go to school, find a career I am passionate about, marry the love of my life, have babies, make a difference in the world and live happily ever after. That doesn’t sound like too much to ask, does it? I could see it all coming together; it was simply a matter of time. In 2010, my list looked like this: School – check! Career – check! Husband – check! Babies – um… My husband and I had a beautiful baby girl in 2009 and I loved every part of motherhood (this was post-breastfeeding woes and also pre-terrible two’s). Our daughter Hannah was only a few months old when I declared to my hubby, “Let’s make another one!” I felt like a pro at the beginning of my second pregnancy, ‘I am a good baby-maker’ I...

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