Thawing of the Bereaved Soul
There is a magic that comes with the spring thaw. The snow starts to melt and little buds appear on the trees. Maybe you are like me and feel an internal blossoming as well. Spring makes me feel alive. The warmth opens my heart. Zachary died in October 2010. Following his death my city of Edmonton went into its typical cold winter and my soul along with it. I spent that season distracting myself from my grief and disguising my sorrow with the busyness of life. My heart was frozen; cold and barren like the landscape. Another time my internal world mirrored the external was when I was expecting following my loss. In my pregnancy with Eden I ripened to full term along with the colors of spring. Eden was born at the end of June 2012. With Eden’s arrival my heart...
Read More“The New Normal: A Mother’s Story about Love and Loss” – Flurt Magazine
I write a monthly column for Flurt Magazine and in the spring 2014 issue I published an article called, “THE NEW NORMAL: A Mother’s Story about Love and Loss.” This is my story about losing Zachary and how his life transformed every part of my ‘normal’ existence into something altogether different. I also talk about coming to terms with the title ‘new normal’ and how Zachary gave me the greatest gift: a passion to care for and encourage others who have also experienced loss. I truly believe this journey we are all on can seem unbearable at times but in the end we are stronger together. If you would like to read my full article, you can purchase your copy on Flurt...
Read MoreTiny Hands
There is music in every person. Sometimes it’s a love song, sometimes it’s a lament. Sometimes I don’t know the words to the melody of my heart’s song which aches for my son, but it’s always there, beating away in my chest. I am so blessed to have a thoughtful and musically talented friend. Candace is in a band with her twin sister Karli; they call themselves Drowning Ophelia. Candace and Karli played in the gallery during my latest exhibition in an evening of art and music. It was in the second set they played: Candace was standing in front of a portrait of my husband which symbolized his grief after our loss. Then Candace surprised me. She told me and the crowd that she wrote a song for my family, a song for Zachary. Her lyrics moved me deeply and put words to...
Read MoreWanted Chosen Planned Updates
Coming back from vacation is always a time of productivity for me. I get rejuvenated and inspired with new ideas. Now, back at my desk, I have added a few new features to Wanted, Chosen, Planned. Resources This is a brand new page and I would love your help in filling in the blanks. I believe people are stronger together and so if you have a blog, a service or a resource for bereaved parents please email me (info@alexismariechute.com). Portraits of Healing For a limited time I am offering free portraits as a part of my artwork called The Quiet Rebuild, creating Portraits of Healing for exhibition and publication in a book. If you want to participate, please get in touch. I will be doing upcoming photo shoot dates across Canada and the United States. Public...
Read MoreAn Invitation to Share your Story
When Zachary died, I felt terribly alone and like a failure as a mother. Naively I believed that babies didn’t die anymore in technologically advanced places like Canada. No one in my circle of friends and family had talked about their own experience. Sex education didn’t teach me the stats nor did my parents or my doctor warn me when I got pregnant. I was not prepared for what happened to me, though you likely can never be fully prepared. Did others feel this way? Our culture doesn’t cope with death in a healthy manner. The mindset seems to be that once the funeral is over you must pick yourself up and move on. Speaking for myself, my journey of grief didn’t really begin until after the memorial. I needed so much in that first year in particular, needs that I am...
Read More