Out of Sight but Not Out of Mind
I’m sure you have heard the saying, “Out of sight, out of mind.” It makes me think of all the little household projects I want to do but haven’t gotten around to since the supplies are tucked neatly away. Whenever I open our laundry room cupboard I see the paint to touch up our scratched table and think, ‘Oh ya, I forgot about that!’ but once the door is closed once more I forget about the paint all over again. Out of sight, out of mind. This phrase bothers me when I think about Zachary. He is not with me, he is not physically in sight but that does not mean he is ever far from my mind. I think about my son every day. For me, my child is out of sight but not out of mind. One blessing of having other children is being able to look at them and see my son. Hannah...
Read MoreSharing our Children’s Birth Stories
I read an interesting post called “Family Storytelling” on the blog for the Centre for Family Literacy. The post was by Jonna Grad and encouraged parents to tell their children the story of their birth. The idea is to build strong bonds and encourage language development through oral storytelling. I remember my mom telling me the story of my birth when I was young. We would cuddle up before I went to sleep and she would describe the wintery night when she went into labor with me and how her and my dad rushed to the hospital. These are precious memories. After reading “Family Storytelling” I asked my 3 year old daughter Hannah if she wanted to hear the story of when she was born. She eagerly nodded with much curiosity. After telling her the story multiple times,...
Read MoreDistractions? There are Pros and Cons
After Zachary died, I entered what I call “The Year of Distraction.” During that time I did everything but face my grief head on. My husband and I shopped for houses and moved within six months. I amped up my photography business and photographed as many weddings as possible, working long hours and locking myself in the office afterwards to edit. We went on an expensive vacation. Fitness because a huge focus for me and I filled up my time with exercise classes, not to mention children’s art and sport classes for my daughter. “The Year of Distraction” was a time full of life and from the outside many may have assumed that I was trudging along and handling the circumstances quite well. On the inside, however, I was avoiding the issue, avoiding grief and looking for...
Read MorePut on Your Own Oxygen Mask Before Assisting Others
In anticipation for a trip I took recently I employed a technique I often use when packing. Visualization. As a self confessed over packer, I have been trying to bring only that which I will actually use. In this process, as I was imagining all the things I’d need to pack for the kids on the plane, I heard these familiar words in my head: “Put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others.” Then POW, a realization hit me… After your child dies, your first responsibility is your own grief. Work through it, cry it out, mourn in the way that is authentic to you, read books, go on long walks, scream into a pillow, talk with a friend – whatever you need for however long feels right. Then, and only you will know when, you will be ready to support others in...
Read MoreWalk to Remember Speech by Alexis Marie Chute
Walk to Remember took place today and I am so thankful that I was asked to share words of encouragement with those who gathered. Here is my speech. I hope it touched those who attended the Walk but can also live on to encourage others who read it here on my blog. Love to you all. Walk to Remember 2012 – Children Remain in the Heart Hello, my name is Alexis Marie Chute. Thank you for the honor of speaking to you today. The first time I attended Walk to Remember I was 28 weeks pregnant with my second child, Zachary. My husband and I kept to ourselves, somberly observing. After the event, a sweet young woman approached, laid a hand on my stomach and with tears in her eyes, said, “You must be so happy to be pregnant again!” “Actually,” I told her as I hugged my baby...
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