Remembering your Baby over the Holidays

Christmas is one of the best times of the year – but it can also be very difficult for many people. For some the struggles are financial and practical while for others the feeling of being alone becomes tangible.

If you have lost a baby, the ache for your child and the life they did not live may be forefront in your thoughts as you see other children sit on Santa’s lap at the mall or hear Christmas carols that remind you of your own childhood and all the dreams you had.

At this time of year I am always reminded that Zachary was supposed to be a Christmas baby. My original due date was December 20^th.

How can we remember our precious children at Christmas time? Here are some ideas I am trying:

1. Craft. I’m sewing a stocking for each of my children, Zachary included. Homemade for me means a little imperfect but every stitch of the thread is looped with my love. (I’ll post a photo soon!)
2. Communication. I find that the holidays are a time of reflection. One year ends and a new one begins. Families gather and share stories. Even though it still brings tears to my eyes, I will be talking about Zachary with my kids and my husband. My extended family are also very kind in bringing up Zachary and this is something I cherish and appreciate more than they know.
3. Photos. I haven’t told anyone this yet, but I would like to take some immediate and extended family photos this Christmas. We will set up the camera on a tripod and use the self timer. I love these fun impromptu pictures when everyone is together. Somehow, maybe by holding a framed photo or a picture of Zachary on my phone, he will be present in our photos.
4. Support group. Many grief support groups have special holiday remembrance services with the focus of remembering the children that are no longer with us. In Edmonton, Parent Care is having their service this Thursday night. I will be speaking about the true measure of a life. My husband and kids are coming and we are looking forward to the candle lighting and reflections of the evening.

 

If you would like to come to Parent Care’s event, here is the info:

Candle Light Non-Denominational Service

Thursday, December 19, 2013

7:30pm

Chapel of the Misericordia Hospital

If you would like your baby’s name read aloud, please call Patti 780-989-5040 or email patti.walker@albertahealthservices.ca

(I will post my speech after the event for those who would like to be encouraged but cannot attend.)

I truly hope that everyone reading this (myself included) will feel the warmth of love for their child in their hearts this holiday. When all else passes away, love is what will remain till the end of time. I truly believe that.

Big LOVE to you,

Alexis Marie