Kids ‘Get’ Baby Loss; The Compassion of One Young Boy

A month ago I wrote, “We Can Learn from Children’s Response to Death,” and this is a follow up post to that. It was a few months ago, at Roots of Empathy, that I told the students in the grade two class about the death of my second child Zachary. At the time I guessed many of them could not comprehend my words as they sat watching my third child, Eden, play with toys on the blanket in front of us. How could a baby die, right? Actually, I was very wrong.

Then, at my most recent visit to the school, one seven year old boy spoke up and touched my heart. As a class we were discussing Eden’s eating habits and out of the blue this student said to me:

“I’m sad that Zachary died.”

“Me too,” I said.

“I wish he hadn’t died so that you could be happy.”

“Thank you,” is all I could muster.

It blew me away (and still does) that this student had been thinking about Zachary and the effect of his death on our family for the last few months. I am also grateful that this young boy had the courage to tell me his thoughts. It is amazing to me how kids ‘get it.’ They ‘get’ the sadness of missing someone, they ‘get’ the absence that this special person leaves, they ‘get’ the longing to change these painful circumstances and how happy we would be if that wish were to come true.

Even now, writing this, I have tears in my eyes for the compassion this seven year old showed me. His response to the death of my baby was perfect; simple, heartfelt and genuine.