Struggling & How to Help
Having a baby after losing a baby is hard. Then you add a complication to the pregnancy and everything spirals. To be honest, I am struggling right now. What has happened in the last five days: I had my 20 week ultrasound last Tuesday. That night, our doctor called and said there may be something wrong with my baby’s heart and that it could be an indicator of a larger problem. I was making dinner at the time. The torrent of emotions nearly knocked me off my feet. I wept so hard both nostrils started bleeding. There was blood on my clothing and on my three-year-old son who ran to comfort me. Though I was making a new recipe that night, both Aaron and I lost our appetites after the call. At the same time, our instinctual coping mechanisms kicked-in. All I wanted...
Read MoreZuckerberg & Chan Pregnancy Announcement
I am always so impressed when people are brave in sharing about their losses. It is not an easy thing to do in our culture. On July 31, the Facebook founder updated his public profile with the news of their growing family. Mark Zuckerberg and Priscilla Chan’s pregnancy announcement confirmed the couple is pregnant – and with a baby girl, but also that they have been trying for years. Three miscarriages later, they posted a smiling maternity photo, Priscilla with a radiant smile and the glow of motherhood. For those of you not on Facebook, or may have missed the announcement, here it is. Mark Zuckerberg and Priscilla Chan pregnancy announcement: The announcement shares with the world some of the challenges and confusion around miscarriage. “You feel so hopeful...
Read MoreWhat books have you found helpful?
Books can be tremendously helpful after loss. When we read the stories of others – in memoirs, blogs and personal essays – we can feel less alone in our own experiences. Self-help books do just what the category name suggests – they help us get out of the rut we cannot seem to escape on our own. I love books. On the journey after the death of a child, they can be great companions. What books have you found helpful? I have added a new section to the resources on Wanted Chosen Planned. You guessed it: a BOOK LIST! Happy reading! ...
Read MoreGood Grief, It’s Mother’s Day
Happy Mother’s Day to all Moms! You know who you are – never question your motherhood, no matter how society might make you feel. Nurture and care for yourself today. You are special and worthy of celebration. I was speaking with my own mother just a few days ago and we agreed that it is not the duration of the child’s life that matters. The love, the bond and the connection – that is what counts, what lingers long after loss. When I saw this children’s book as I dug through the bookshelf with my living kids, I was immediately halted by the title. Good Grief, It’s Mother’s Day! The Peanuts book is based on the comic strip by Charles M. Schulz. The book shows all the Peanut characters and their beliefs about the day, and their sometimes kooky gift ideas as...
Read MoreExciting Updates: CTV & Shaw TV Features, Curious Arts, Brave New Normal Documentary, Today’s Parent, and the Yeggies Awards Night (Now that’s a mouthful!)
Spring is a busy time of year – are you feeling it as well? There are a lot of exciting updates here at Wanted Chosen Planned that I’m eager to share with you. CTV Feature on Wanted Chosen Planned – Airs Thursday, May 7, 2015 I had the pleasure of being interviewed by Dez Melenka and her cameraman, Mike, from CTV. The interview discussed Wanted Chosen Planned and the need for community for bereaved parents. They also filmed me photographing Tara, a bereaved local Mom, for my art project called The Quiet Rebuild – Portraits of Healing. Tara was also able to share her story. The feature will be promoted this Wednesday night (May 6) and aired on Thursday, May 7 at 6:00pm during the evening news. Shaw TV Feature on BRAVE NEW NORMAL Documentary – Airs...
Read More“Brave New Normal” Documentary, View the Trailer Today on International Bereaved Mother’s Day
Today is a remembrance day that many do not know about unless they have experienced the death of a child. International Bereaved Mother’s Day is virtually unpublicized or acknowledged – and only partially so, I believe, because of the lack of consumer-targeted marketing by big gift companies. The larger issue may spur from the difficult nature of the day itself. Mother’s Day is seen in a positive light, but bereaved motherhood is not all roses and chocolates. Mothers who have miscarried, had a stillbirth or another type of early infant loss – or even those who have survived the death of a grown child – often find themselves within a society where their grief is misunderstood. Historically, how are we taught to respond to things we do not...
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