Resource Round-Up 1: Carry You With Me
There are so many amazing and compassionate resources out there for bereaved families after their losses and as the become pregnant again. In this resource round-up, I will share some of the books, retreats, organizations and other supports that I feel are doing amazing work. BOOK: Carry You With Me, picture book by Alanna Knobben Carry You With Me is a heartfelt story of a mother’s love, loss, healing and hope. Whimsical illustrations are brought to life with deeply rooted words and symbols. Together we remember the great loves we have lost and cherish all the ways we carry them with us forever. After the loss of her son, Marshall James, mother Alanna turned to paper and pen in her grieving and healing process. Letters to her son soon evolved into the writing of...
Read MoreSpeech from the Baby Steps Walk to Remember
Last weekend was the Baby Steps Memorial Walk to Remember. It was a really great way to kick off Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. I gave a speech that is very close to my heart. I spoke about the death of a child like being lost in the wilderness. For me, my son Zachary has become like Polaris, the North Star, who helps guide me out of the confusing and scary place. It is always tremendously special to be able to talk about my first son and to hear his name. Within my household, we talk about Zachary all the time, but to be in the company of others who don’t find that weird or uncomfortable is truly a blessing. It was so nice to have my Mom and Step-father and my husband’s parents join us. I don’t typically ask family and friends to attend these sorts...
Read MoreRemembering Ruby: Guest Post by Sara Kalke
I am pleased to introduce Sara Kalke. It is an honor for me to share Sara’s story here on Wanted Chosen Planned. I met Sara over three years ago shortly after her daughter Ruby passed away. We had an instant connection based on our losses and now I am proud to call her friend. I invited Sara to share her story here on Wanted Chosen Planned and I’m honored she agreed. Welcome Sara! Sara’s Story My daughter, Ruby Jayne, weighed 6 pounds 10 ounces when she was born. She had beautiful dark curly hair. She had ten fingers and ten toes. She had her daddy’s nose and my lips. She filled my arms just like a newborn should. She fit perfectly into the pink onesie I had ready for her in my hospital bag. She looked sweet and kind and full of the...
Read MoreWill My Family Ever Be Complete? The Decision to have a Child after Loss
Having children after the death of a child can be one of the scariest decisions and processes there is. For some, conception alone is not an easy road. For others, the stress only begins when the two pink lines appear… side-by-side with the realization that nine months is a long time to worry for the safety and health of your next child. BUT, before all these joys and worries, is the decision to have another child in the first place. I believe it is important to note that not everyone has this ability to chose – and that is a loss worth grieving in itself. The very question of whether or not to try again can cause an emotional rollercoaster. Of course the decision to have more children is influenced by many factors – yet for people who have previously lost...
Read MoreThe Ripple Effects of Loss
On the outside I look like a normal functioning person, but the ripple effects of my son’s death still startle me. Just this week, the day home woman who cares for my two living kids asked me if I was okay if she ran an errand taking her daughter and my two-year-old son Eden with her (the older kids were still in school). Her request shouldn’t have bothered me since she takes the two toddlers to music class every week – but for some reason I was petrified. Maybe it was my mood that day, but all I could picture was a car crash and my son being badly injured… Or worse. Since Zachary, I tend to imagine the unthinkable in terms of my living children’s safety. I fixated on that car trip all morning and texted the woman asking her to let me know once they were...
Read MoreBereavement Documentaries
The Resource section of Wanted Chosen Planned is now updated with a section called Documentaries. There is tremendously important studies and research being done on stillbirth, SIDS, early infant loss, the effect of a sibling death and many other topics. I discovered this great site with documentaries based on this research and I hope you find it useful. Click here to visit the Wanted Chosen Planned Resources. Happy Friday everyone! Hugs & love ...
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