It’s Better To Love
There are a lot of hoops to jump through when you go to school out of the country. As a Canadian about to start grad school in the States, I feel bogged down by paperwork. Some of that includes a health form regarding my immunization history. That is how I found myself in a health clinic today, realizing that I needed one more shot to be completely vaccinated. I’ve always loathed needles. Since I was small the very sight of them has brought out in me pitiful sobs and I begin to sweat, grow tense, wriggle and fidget. Today, the nurse commented on how well I did considering my phobia. I told her it’s due to the thousands (more like hundreds) of needles I had to endure leading up to and following Zachary’s birth and death, and in the nine months of genetics testing...
Read MoreYeggies Results and The True Reward
The first weekend of May saw the social networking scene of Edmonton (#yeg) come out to celebrate the Yeggies, the best of new media awards. My very own Wanted Chosen Planned was nominated in the Family and Parenting category. Yay! (Thanks everyone who nominated me!) On the night of the award ceremony I squeezed my post-3 baby body into a new dress and my husband and I hit the town. Unfortunately my blog was not chosen as the award recipient… and at first this stung a little, as to be expected. YET… On the drive home I received an email from a woman who reads my blog. She shared with me how encouraged she felt after discovering Wanted Chosen Planned and reading all the posts as she grapples with life after her own losses. Then a Facebook message...
Read MoreKind Words for Wanted, Chosen, Planned
It was wonderful to receive word this week that Wanted, Chosen, Planned was nominated for The Yeggies. You may be wondering, ‘What on earth is a Yeggie?” Short answer, The Yeggies are an Edmonton (YEG) New Media Award which honours local content creators. Wanted, Chosen, Planned was nominated in the “Best in Family or Parenting” category. While even just the nomination is a huge blessing, the comments left by nominators were really what got me. My greatest hope is for my writing and speaking to be an encouragement to others who have lost a child. I want my experience of loss and journey navigating this ‘new normal’ to help others along the way. For me, to hear that my readers are connecting with my words is the greatest reward. Here are some of the comments:...
Read MoreWalk to Remember Speech by Alexis Marie Chute
Walk to Remember took place today and I am so thankful that I was asked to share words of encouragement with those who gathered. Here is my speech. I hope it touched those who attended the Walk but can also live on to encourage others who read it here on my blog. Love to you all. Walk to Remember 2012 – Children Remain in the Heart Hello, my name is Alexis Marie Chute. Thank you for the honor of speaking to you today. The first time I attended Walk to Remember I was 28 weeks pregnant with my second child, Zachary. My husband and I kept to ourselves, somberly observing. After the event, a sweet young woman approached, laid a hand on my stomach and with tears in her eyes, said, “You must be so happy to be pregnant again!” “Actually,” I told her as I hugged my baby...
Read MoreSynchronicity in our Shared Experience
It is called synchronicity in the law of attraction; when things align and come together in an almost magical, seemingly ordained manner. Last week I read a Winnie the Pooh book to my daughter and felt sweet encouragement for the journey of navigating the emotional days following the loss of my baby Zachary. I posted last Wednesday about these amazing words that Christopher Robin spoke to Pooh, words that seemed as if they were written specifically for me. Then, as I was looking around on the Edmonton Walk to Remember website, I was thrilled to find the same quote by A. A. Milne on the home page atop sweetly drawn trees with a blue bird perched above. Coincidence? I doubt it. It seems like the universe or God or whoever/whatever is out there is trying to tell...
Read MoreLet Go… or Carry on?
“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” -E.M. Forester I’m inspired by this quote by E. M. Forester, I really am, but letting go has such a negative connotation for us who grieve the loss of a child. It is against our parenting instincts. We want to hold our child close. If you get in a car accident or miss a job promotion it’s easier for people to say, “Let it go, it was just a possession, it was just a job. Something better is right around the corner.” Yes, many people who have lost a child to stillbirth, miscarriage or early infant loss do go on to have other children and find happiness, but the act of “letting go” is not the same. We don’t “let go” and forget. We don’t “let go” and leave our...
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