Living with an Open Hand
This is the speech I gave last weekend at the May Memorial, Remembering Our Losses. I hope it will be an encouragement. OPEN HAND Of all the many lessons I’ve learned in my life, there is one in particular that stands out. The lesson: live with an open hand. Living with an open hand is like holding a butterfly. It means not squeezing too tightly to what we want, to what we love; otherwise it may be crushed between our fingers. Instead, we can open our hands and let that which we desire stay however long it wishes. If it goes, it may return if we remain open, but there is also the chance it will not come back. Living openly like this means being grateful for what we have for however long we have it. In happy times, this lesson sounds easy, but throughout...
Read MoreRemembering our Losses, May Memorial in Edmonton
If you are looking for a place to celebrate your child in the presence of others who share your experience, there is a lovely Edmonton event called, “Remembering Our Losses.” I will be speaking at this event and reflecting on living with an “Open hand.” Put on by Alberta Health Services & Covenant Health Pregnancy & Infant Loss Program, this event takes place on Sunday, May 25 at 1:00 pm at Connelly-McKinley Funeral Homes. There will be a graveside ceremony following the memorial. Click the image above to see a larger version. If you attend this event, please find me and say hello. I’d like to meet you. I believe we are stronger together. If you have a baby loss event that you would like me to share, please...
Read MoreReturn to Zero
Have you heard about Return to Zero? Tomorrow, Saturday May 17, the film Return to Zero will have its world television premier (Sunday May 18 in the UK). The movie is a true story of love, loss and hope. Minnie Driver and Paul Adelstein play a couple who have a stillborn child and face their ‘new normal’ afterwards. When I watched the trailer, I couldn’t help but weep. I am so proud of this movie, and the anthology Three Minus One that I’m published in. I am passionate about dispelling the taboo around child loss that hinders couples from healthy grief in a supportive community. It is wonderful that couples and families that have been through loss can band together to support one another and commit to beautiful projects like Return to Zero and Three Minus...
Read MoreThe Meaning in a Name
When names are chosen with purpose and meaning, I get goosebumps. It’s like bestowing on a person the mantle of their destiny. I remember my mom telling me the meaning of my name when I was little: Alexis, helper and defender of mankind. I’ve never forgotten that. As a kid, I took the meaning of my name very seriously, like a responsibility and one I was proud to fulfill. I stood up for bullied kids and have always loved helping people. My daughter’s name, Hannah, means favor and grace. After my husband Aaron and I discovered that our second child would not live, in hopes of a miracle we chose his name. Zachary, remembered by God. It broke my heart at the time of my son’s death, ‘Had God forgotten my child?’ I’ve come to understand that there are many things I...
Read MoreToday is International Bereaved Mother’s Day: The Meaning of Motherhood
What is a mother? Is she someone who has had a healthy child? Yes, that is one definition. But what about women who have abused or abandoned their children? Should they be considered mothers? What about the woman whose child has died? Is she a mother? I believe that the defining characteristic of a mother is her love. Just like faith and hope, love is an invisible quality but truly the strongest force in the universe – even stronger than hate. In the presence of so great a love as a mother for her child, a broken heart is understandable in the face of tragedy, but love is also the only true healer. Love cannot be killed, lost or destroyed. Love is eternal. With the death of a mother and father, the world does not assume the child had no parent at all. The...
Read MoreReminder: May 4 is Bereaved Mother’s Day, download your free badge of honor
Celebrate mothers who have lost a child. Honor these women with love, support and thoughtfulness on International Bereaved Mother’s Day: Sunday, May 4, 2014. Please visit my post from April 24 to download a digital image to honour the bereaved family member(s) in your life. Click here to visit the post and download the image greeting. Bereaved Mother’s Day is a chance to show yourself love, grace and kindness. You deserve it. No human should have to endure the loss and pain that you have survived, and yet, no matter what, you are still a mother. Join me on May 4 here on Wanted Chosen Planned to discuss the meaning of Motherhood, and also join me on twitter using the hashtag: #stillamom (You can find me: @_Alexis_Marie). I’m looking forward to...
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