Objects that Help us Remember
One of the tough parts about losing a child is the lack of physical mementos of their life. It is easy to take stock of what I have that reminds me of Zachary: A blanket One sleeper The bear the hospital gave my husband and I His newborn identification bracelet One unfinished album of photographs A velvet blue box containing the urn of my son’s ashes The cards and few gifts that we received at the memorial This collection seems small but I know very well that it is more than some people have. For some there are no objects that remind them of their child. This may be especially true for those who have an early miscarriage. I’m a collector at heart – not of the expected sort of things like stamps or records or coins. As a child I plucked rocks from beaches and...
Read MoreBedtime
Tonight, my son Eden did not want to be alone. As he lay in his crib, drowsy yet awake, he rolled over again and again to make sure I was still there. I did not want to be alone either and picked up my baby and he curled himself around my shoulder in response, my cheek resting on his head. I rocked him, hummed ‘his song’ and simply let our bodies be warm and snuggly together. These are the precious moments of parenthood. As I rocked Eden to sleep, my thoughts flashed quickly to Zach. For all the thousands of bed times I wish I could rock him to sleep, I somehow must be content with the one chance I had to hold him in my arms. I still remember the embrace fondly. I cradled him many hours after he was still. Pulling him close, I smelled his skin and kissed his...
Read MoreThe Quiet Rebuild Exhibition
After Zachary’s death, I lost myself. It was only after I got back into my work as an artist, photographer and writer that I came to understand that art possessed the ability to express the inexpressible parts of my sorrow. Building my wood sculptures was the beginning and was therapeutic as it allowed my mind to linger in places of pain and grow to understand myself better. The artwork that I have made over the last two years is called “The Quiet Rebuild” and is currently on exhibit at Harcourt House Gallery and Artist Run Centre in Edmonton, Alberta Canada. The show runs until November 29, 2013. Harcourt House Gallery: 3rd floor, 10215-112 Street, Edmonton, Alberta “The Quiet Rebuild” features painting, wood sculpture, photography and a curious...
Read MoreThree Years of Remembering and Unexpected Surprises
Zachary’s third birthday, also the day of his death, fell over the Canadian Thanksgiving weekend this year. This was timely as I have much to be thankful for regarding Zach. I am thankful for thirty weeks of kicks and the magic bond between mother and child. I am thankful for his life, however brief. I am thankful I held him alive for just a few moments. I am thankful for the strength he seemed to give me to survive. I am thankful that he has given me a passion to help others. I am thankful that I still feel him with me. It has taken me a month to write this post, not out of busyness, but because of what shocked me on the day we celebrated and remembered… We began Zachary’s birthday as we always do, with a plentiful breakfast and time as a family. My husband...
Read MoreBereaved Parents are Survivors & Have a Story to Share
This past weekend I shared my story and offered encouragement to bereaved parents on their journey of loss. I was the keynote speaker at the first ever Baby Steps Memorial Walk. It was a beautiful event, uplifting and thoughtful. I always appreciate the opportunity to reflect on my son Zachary whom I miss so much. You can watch the video of my speech or read it below, along with some photographs of the Baby Steps event. BABY STEPS MEMORIAL WALK SPEECH COPYRIGHT ALEXIS MARIE CHUTE Hello, my name is Alexis Marie Chute and I am honored to be here for the very first Baby Steps Memorial Walk. I have three children; Hannah and Eden are here with me today. My second child, Zachary, was born at 30 weeks gestation with a rare genetic condition and a tumor around his...
Read MoreJoin me at the Baby Steps Memorial Walk
Registration for the first ever Baby Steps Memorial Walk is taking place soon. If you have lost a child, this event will help you remember and celebrate their little life. I will be speaking about what it means to be a survivor and how we can keep our children alive in our hearts and the world. If you can’t make the event today (12:30pm at Festival Place and Broadmoor Lake in Sherwood Park) I will be posting my speech next week on Wanted Chosen Planned so you can still be encouraged. Click here for more information. Or visit: www.babystepswalk.com Best wishes always, Alexis Marie...
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