International Bereaved Mother’s Day: Honoring our Birth Stories
Today we celebrate International Bereaved Mother’s Day. We honor precious children that have died and their Mothers whose love and bravery are to be respected and commended. The loss of a child is one of the most painful experiences a person can endure. At the same time, speaking for myself, I would never erase my pain. It is evidence of love. It speaks to the short but meaningful life of my first son, Zachary. Yes, my memories are tinged with sadness, but more so they are shrouded with love. Do you notice my theme here? LOVE Love is what binds us. Love sustains us. Love is the answer to the heart’s longings. Love is what keeps our loved ones alive. My Mom is a wise lady. I respect and admire her, as much as we butt heads many days. Mom always tells...
Read MoreFive Lessons: Expecting Sunshine 1st Birthday
One thing I have noticed since losing my son, Zachary, is how I appreciate milestones more deeply. I love celebrating the birthdays, and other special days, of my two rainbow babies and my daughter, who was one-year-old when Zach passed away. So too am I grateful to wish my “book baby” a very happy birthday. One year ago today, I published my memoir, called Expecting Sunshine: A Journey of Grief, Healing and Pregnancy After Loss (She Writes Press, April 18, 2017). When I look back on this past year, I realize there are many important lessons that I have learned. These revelations grew out of my challenging season of grief, the newness of slow-earned healing, and the process of writing, editing, and publishing my story. Five Lessons on the Birthday of...
Read MoreAdd Your Baby to the Celebrating Sweeties Page this Month
October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. It is an incredibly important time to celebrate and honor little lives gone too soon. Here on Wanted Chosen Planned, we have a very special way to remember babies and older children that have died. It is called Celebrating Sweeties and it is a place where children can be recognized by name, birth and death date and a picture if the parents have one and choose to share it. If you would like your child to be a part of Celebrating Sweeties, please send this information to Alexis Marie at info@alexismariechute.com I am honored to post a new photo to the Celebrating Sweeties page today – and since Wanted Chosen Planned and Expecting Sunshine are experiencing a butterfly takeover for the month of October, I...
Read MoreA Healthy Grief Movement
I want to bring people together to create a “Healthy Grief Movement.” Will you join me? What I see as some of the “manifesto points” of this movement: People are encouraged and feel comfortable talking about their own losses and speaking with others who are grieving. Sharing stories of life and death that help both the storyteller and the listeners. Children are brought up understanding that death is a natural and beautiful part of life. There is a healthy vocabulary to discuss challenging topics. There are cultural rituals to support the bereaved and remember the deceased. These are just some ideas. Do you have others? Though I am not entirely sure what this “Healthy Grief Movement” will look like, I have made some graphics to...
Read MoreThe Male Perspective on Grief
I have people ask me all the time: How did your husband cope with his grief? My first reaction for MANY YEARS was: I have no idea It seemed like he wasn’t really grieving And he never really talked about it I assumed he was doing okay I have since had all four of those reactions turned on their head. I learned: I had no idea how my husband, Aaron, was grieving because he often tried to be strong for me, therefore didn’t always show his feelings. Aaron was grieving, deeply; his grief just looked different from mine and so I didn’t recognize it or understand it the same way as my own. Men are not encouraged to share their feelings as much as women, and sometimes when they do they are made to feel less manly or in control. We can never assume...
Read MoreWhy you need support in your pregnancy after loss
In my first pregnancy after loss, I was so terrified of losing another child. I couldn’t picture giving birth to a baby that lived. It was a paralysing fear. Despite the fact that I was so eager to have and love that next baby with all my heart, that pregnancy was rough. It was a season full of anxiety. I write about this experience in my forthcoming memoir, Expecting Sunshine, which will be released April 2017 by She Writes Press. In Expecting Sunshine, I share about the conflicting emotions during pregnancy after loss, and all the things I did in the attempt to be calm and find peace. The one resounding message that I can share from that time: Support is crucial in pregnancies after loss. This may seem so obvious, but it’s not. I remember my...
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