Yeggies New Media Nomination for Wanted Chosen Planned
I am honoured that Wanted Chosen Planned has been nominated for a Yeggie, an Edmonton media and blogging award, for three years in a row. That tells me that people are reading – thank you so much for that! Sharing my life since losing my son Zachary is both a blessing and a challenging reminder, but I am so thankful for the opportunity to help other people. That is what makes everything worth while. When Zach died, I felt so alone in the world. I believed that no one understood and that my burden was mine to carry alone. I have since found, through opening up about my experience, that we as a community of bereaved families can lean on each other and offer hard earned wisdom that only those who have walked through the valley of the shadow of death couple...
Read MoreThe Ripple Effects of Loss
On the outside I look like a normal functioning person, but the ripple effects of my son’s death still startle me. Just this week, the day home woman who cares for my two living kids asked me if I was okay if she ran an errand taking her daughter and my two-year-old son Eden with her (the older kids were still in school). Her request shouldn’t have bothered me since she takes the two toddlers to music class every week – but for some reason I was petrified. Maybe it was my mood that day, but all I could picture was a car crash and my son being badly injured… Or worse. Since Zachary, I tend to imagine the unthinkable in terms of my living children’s safety. I fixated on that car trip all morning and texted the woman asking her to let me know once they were...
Read MoreRemembering the Spark of Life: Today is Worldwide Candle Lighting
Please join me today in Worldwide Candle Lighting at 7pm. Whether a child dies in an early miscarriage or as an adult, their life was and continues to be tremendously precious. Light your candle for one hour and celebrate the life of your son or daughter, brother or sister, or grandchild. There are too few opportunities where we may slow down in our busy lives. This is one of those rare times and I encourage you to be mindful of your thoughts, feelings and body as you take an hour to reflect. Take a deep breath and cry if you need to or share stories and laugh. One of the most important aspects to grief and healing is that the process is as unique as every individual. Celebrate in the way that you feel comfortable. Here are some quotes to guide you as you...
Read MoreSave the Date: Worldwide Candle Lighting on December 14
In less than a week, The Compassionate Friends host Worldwide Candling Lighting. The heart of the event: “Light a candle for all children who have died… that their light may always shine.” The Worldwide Candle Lighting will take place Sunday, December 14, 2014 at 7pm creating a wave of light around the globe. The Compassionate Friends is an organization that supports families after the death of a child at any age. I attended their National Conference this past summer and it proved to be a very kind and thoughtful community. The organization encourages bereaved families to light a candle for one hour to “honor the memories of the sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, and grandchildren who left too soon.” To learn more about Worldwide Candling Lighting, please click...
Read MoreGrief Triggers (Warning: Sensitive Images for Bereaved Parents)
Triggers can be anything that make you think about your loss, struggle and grief. I have had all kinds of triggers since Zachary died and I can guess that many others have experienced these as well: The expiration date on food. The sound of your baby’s name. The hospital. The route to the hospital. Anniversaries. Babies in general. While triggers can cause our emotions to flare, I try to think about my child in those moments. In that way, triggers can be a lovely opportunity for remembrance. The challenge is when these triggers startle us so badly that we cannot cope in the moment. In those cases, the best plan is to remove ourselves from those situations and find a safe place to sit and take a few long, calming breaths. I had an over-the-top trigger experience...
Read MoreInfant & Pregnancy Loss Awareness Day, Remembering my Baby Zachary
Today, October 15, is Infant and Pregnancy Loss Awareness Day. It is a time to share stories and find support. An even greater level of awareness is needed I believe around miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, early infant loss and all other types of losses. Why? Because these deaths are shockingly common, yet are not discussed openly to the same proportion. I still remember when Zachary died; I thought, “What has happened to me? I am all alone in this; flawed and outcast from motherhood.” I do not wish anyone else to feel that way – it was devastating and raw, as if my insides had been grated and my soul drowned in blackness. I attended a conference in September, a congress on baby loss and bereavement, and there met a host of doctors from around the world that are...
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