Lori-Ann’s Angels – Guest Blog Post
I am pleased to introduce Lori-Ann, one of the founders of Angel Whispers. It is an honour for me to share Lori-Ann’s story here on Wanted Chosen Planned. Lori-Ann probably does not remember this, but almost five years ago I contacted her about the loss of my son Zachary and she sent me a lovely care package. I have never forgotten that. It is true that small gestures of kindness go a long way. I truly appreciate how Lori-Ann finds the good in all she has endured. Thank you Lori-Ann for sharing with us today. Lori-Ann’s Story: My grief journey began in 1998, our daughter Sabrina was almost 2 years old when we found out we were pregnant…we were ecstatic! Our plan was to have our children approximately 2½ years apart so the timing of when we...
Read MoreCelebrating Sweeties Launch
I am so proud to launch “Celebrating Sweeties” on Wanted Chosen Planned! This website is more than just a blog; Wanted Chosen Planned is a community where all are welcome to share their experience of losing a child and what life entails afterwards. I passionately believe we are stronger together – and that is what this community is built on: sharing, support and compassion. Celebrating Sweeties is a dedication page for Wanted Chosen Planned. It is a place to honour and remember. I invite families to email me at info@alexismariechute.com with three things: Your child’s name (or nickname or your last name, for example Baby Smith) Your child’s birthday A photograph if you have one (not required) I will place your child’s name, birth date and photograph into...
Read MoreWill My Family Ever Be Complete? The Decision to have a Child after Loss
Having children after the death of a child can be one of the scariest decisions and processes there is. For some, conception alone is not an easy road. For others, the stress only begins when the two pink lines appear… side-by-side with the realization that nine months is a long time to worry for the safety and health of your next child. BUT, before all these joys and worries, is the decision to have another child in the first place. I believe it is important to note that not everyone has this ability to chose – and that is a loss worth grieving in itself. The very question of whether or not to try again can cause an emotional rollercoaster. Of course the decision to have more children is influenced by many factors – yet for people who have previously lost...
Read MoreThe Ripple Effects of Loss
On the outside I look like a normal functioning person, but the ripple effects of my son’s death still startle me. Just this week, the day home woman who cares for my two living kids asked me if I was okay if she ran an errand taking her daughter and my two-year-old son Eden with her (the older kids were still in school). Her request shouldn’t have bothered me since she takes the two toddlers to music class every week – but for some reason I was petrified. Maybe it was my mood that day, but all I could picture was a car crash and my son being badly injured… Or worse. Since Zachary, I tend to imagine the unthinkable in terms of my living children’s safety. I fixated on that car trip all morning and texted the woman asking her to let me know once they were...
Read MoreHas the way you celebrate your deceased child changed over time?
Four and a half years have passed since Zachary died. I am a different person now than I once was – and so too has my family changed since our loss. We have grown – not only in number as we welcomed Eden two years ago, but we are also growing-up as our kids’ age and my husband and I pursue education and careers. In many ways I feel my grief and my need for acts of remembrance for Zachary have changed as well. Sometimes these feelings of change make me uncomfortable. Take Christmas for example. I want to remember that Zachary’s original due date was a few days before Christmas and I want to think about him as I spend time with my family over the holidays – but I don’t want to slip into the sadness of my loss amidst the happy times – not anymore. I once went...
Read MoreWhen a Child Dies Please Remember: Siblings Grieve Too
I recently viewed a documentary out of Toronto presented by researcher Christine Jonas-Simpson called, “Always with Me: Understanding Bereaved Children Whose Baby Sibling Died.” This video, and the presentation given by Simpson, blew me away. I began to think about my children’s response to Zachary’s death in a new way. It may sound silly, but I never really imagined my young kids, five and two-years-old, to have their own grief. I always thought that they were sad because I was sad, or that they talked about Zachary because I did. What I realized while watching the research-based documentary: Kids have their own grief that is separate and unique from their parents. Different children will respond in different ways to the loss. It is good and healthy to talk to...
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