How to Celebrate Bereaved Dads on Father’s Day
Bereaved dads don’t get enough support – and our society doesn’t encourage them to ask for it when they need it. My husband Aaron grieved so differently than me. We were night and day. I was open, crying, needing to talk about our loss all the time, and could not focus on day to day concerns; they were meaningless to me for so long. For Aaron on the other hand, he shoved his emotions down and threw himself into his work. He didn’t talk about Zachary very often, if ever, unless I brought him up. He said all the right things to me, but was disassociated from our loss and our relationship. This was his way of coping. It was an extremely challenging time for us both. I have learned that the typical male and female grief patterns are not right and wrong in themselves,...
Read MoreIt’s not too late to participate in Celebrating Sweeties
I am always encouraged to see the children remembered on the Celebrating Sweeties page here on Wanted Chosen Planned. Their faces and names remind me why I write this blog and encourage me to keep going with my passion for baby-loss advocacy. All our children matter. Celebrating Sweeties is an ongoing project and I welcome anyone to participate. If you would like your child celebrated, please email me at info@alexismariechute.com Send me your child’s name, birthday and a photo if you have one. A picture is not required. “I thought I would have to teach my child about the world. It turns out I have to teach the world about my child.” -Anonymous...
Read MoreToday’s Parent Wins Editorial Package Award for Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Campaign
I am happy to announce that the online campaign on Today’s Parent Magazine, called: Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss, has won a National Magazine Award for Best Editorial Package. The campaign features the stories of three mothers who suffered from the loss of a baby at various stages of pregnancy. I highly encourage everyone to read the stories and articles featured in the campaign. One of the three stories featured in the campaign is mine – the story of how I lost my son Zachary, from the excitement of first discovering I was pregnant to the moment he passed away in my arms. My story is told through an interview with me combined with an overarching narrative. “My husband and I both held Zachary skin to skin, which was really important to us. We only had...
Read MoreWhat books have you found helpful?
Books can be tremendously helpful after loss. When we read the stories of others – in memoirs, blogs and personal essays – we can feel less alone in our own experiences. Self-help books do just what the category name suggests – they help us get out of the rut we cannot seem to escape on our own. I love books. On the journey after the death of a child, they can be great companions. What books have you found helpful? I have added a new section to the resources on Wanted Chosen Planned. You guessed it: a BOOK LIST! Happy reading! ...
Read MoreGood Grief, It’s Mother’s Day
Happy Mother’s Day to all Moms! You know who you are – never question your motherhood, no matter how society might make you feel. Nurture and care for yourself today. You are special and worthy of celebration. I was speaking with my own mother just a few days ago and we agreed that it is not the duration of the child’s life that matters. The love, the bond and the connection – that is what counts, what lingers long after loss. When I saw this children’s book as I dug through the bookshelf with my living kids, I was immediately halted by the title. Good Grief, It’s Mother’s Day! The Peanuts book is based on the comic strip by Charles M. Schulz. The book shows all the Peanut characters and their beliefs about the day, and their sometimes kooky gift ideas as...
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