Never Alone

Kids say the most profound things.

Yesterday, Christmas Day 2015, my daughter Hannah startled me with a comment. Our family was driving to visit my parents and en route we were discussing the fact that not everyone has someone to spend the holidays with. Christmas is not an easy time of year for everyone.

From the backseat Hannah said, “Mommy, you are never alone – you have baby with you all the time.” She was talking about my second Rainbow Baby, the child I am 37 weeks anxiously expecting.

Then Hannah continued: “And Zachary is always with you too!”

This realization made me smile. My first son, my baby that I miss dearly; he is always with me. Zachary is never far from my thoughts. My love for him never wanes. I am never alone…

This realization made me think: 

How often do we confuse physical absence with being alone? 

After any kind of loss of a loved one, it is natural to feel the ache of absence, the physical missing and longing for that person. This ache is a recognition of who is unseen. The love we feel for that individual is weighty and heartbreaking.

Yet, I believe we can turn that pain around. The ache of absence can be a recognition of the importance and presence of that life. The love is not gone, it is present. Though we cannot see the person we long for – a child, parent, friend, partner – our emotional and physical sensations can be a comfort that we are not alone.

It’s an abstract idea. The reality that we are never alone may seem weird because we are used to the tangible senses to perceive our world. Sight. Sound. Taste. Touch. But there is a lot in life that can be intuited, sensed with the heart, understood in intangible ways.

We are never alone, our loved ones that have died are always with us. The holidays, Christmas, can be challenging, but celebrating love and life is healing.

I hope that all that read this can feel the presence of the one that is missing this holiday season.

None of us are ever really alone.

 

Sending love and good cheer your way in this challenging and joyful time of year.

–  Alexis Marie Chute