Celebrate Moms of All Kinds on International Bereaved Mother’s Day
Thank you for reading and celebrating with me on International Bereaved Mother’s Day!
Click this image to view it large. Then right click, save and send to someone you want to celebrate today. Or share it on your Facebook or Twitter page.
No two Moms are exactly alike.
- We all have unique birth stories.
- We parent differently.
- Discipline our kids in distinct ways.
- We tell our own special stories at bed time.
- Some Moms choose to have three babies.
- Some don’t have a choice.
- Some Moms have no babies on this earth.
- There are many Moms that hold one or more children in their hearts.
That’s life.
Life is imperfect…
– and it is these imperfections that makes it beautiful, sometimes tragically beautiful.
Today, International Bereaved Mother’s Day is a wonderful opportunity to celebrate Moms of all kinds.
What is your story?
What kind of a mom are you?
How many children do you have?
What are your favorite memories?
There is so much to celebrate. Comment below and join in the discussion. Today, we honour bereaved Moms; today we lift each other up, celebrating what brings us together in this community.
I want to share a little story of something that happened to me a few days ago…
I was going through the footage for the documentary film my husband and I are making called Expecting Sunshine: The Truth about Pregnancy after Loss. I was compiling the photos I want to share from when Zachary was born, from when he died. ALL OF A SUDDEN, I noticed two video files that I have never seen before at the bottom of the folder of images.
I was totally shocked. I didn’t remember Aaron taking video. I had discovered a different brief clip back when the film crew and I were making the trailer. It was a video taken by the videographer, Chris, at CU Photography who took pictures of us from the organization Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep. The video was Aaron and I giving Zachary a bath. He had already passed away. The footage was in black and white. You can see the clip in the film trailer here:
I was thrilled to find the clip of us bathing Zach. It is so special to have that memory – but the two colour videos I discovered a few days ago in the birth photo folder were new… or at least they felt new to me as I had forgotten we taken made them.
Aaron had filmed these videos of me:
(1) Right when Zachary was put on my chest. Zachary moved a little bit in my arms, but then passed away.
My son died as this video was captured. Oh my gosh, did I bawl my head off while watching this now, almost six years later. Aaron wrapped his arms around me as we watched together on the couch.
It was one of those moments that catches you off guard in life. I thought I was okay. I thought I was coping, managing, healing… and I am… but this clip brought me back to that moment. I could feel my son’s slight movement in my arms all over again. My body has that memory, from all those years ago, and has never forgotten.
I don’t even know how I am writing this right now… I feel my throat tightening. This video is so special to me. It makes me want to tell everyone:
TAKE AS MUCH VIDEO AS POSSIBLE.
TAKE AS MANY PHOTOGRAPHS AS POSSIBLE.
Capture video and photographs of your living children. Take photos of their births. Capture images when you are pregnant. And, Lord forbid, if you know your baby will die, plan in advance to bring your camera and get your partner, the nurses and others (like those at Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep) to take photos AND VIDEO of your family in the precious moments you have together. Take photos and video of your baby that will not live or that has already passed away.
I am not trying to sound bossy. Really, I’m not! I am speaking from my own experience and that of those who have shared their stories with me. These images and video become cherished keepsakes. In an experience where so much is taken from us, with so little left as tangible mementos of a short life; these pictures and videos are like gold.
Here’s another one! Click this image to view it large. Then right click, save and send to someone you want to celebrate today. Or share it on your Facebook or Twitter page.
(2) The second video I discovered was also taken by Aaron. It is me standing in my hospital gown, rocking Zachary in my arms.
He had passed away at that point. His skin was reddish from lack of oxygen. The top of his head looked elongated as the excess fluid in his body needed somewhere to go, moving backwards from his face to the back of his head. His body was cool in my arms. He weighed seven-and-a-half pounds.
Aaron and I narrated this little clip; me while I held Zach, Aaron from behind the camera. We talked about Zachary having gone to God. How October 14 will always be his special day in our family. I kissed Zachary’s forehead.
Aaron and I were so calm. We were in shock… the wild grief was still to come in the days and months to follow…
Last one! Click this image to view it large. Then right click, save and send to someone you want to celebrate today. Or share it on your Facebook or Twitter page.
I have learned I am the kind of mom that still cries after five and a half years. I am the kind of mom that talks about Zachary with my living children. They are so comfortable saying Zach’s name and bringing him up that their deceased sibling is a natural part of our family.
I am the kind of bereaved mom that believes storytelling can help heal the pain of loss, though will never take it away completely. I am the kind of bereaved mom that wants to create a community of those who have lost, to support each other, to banish the feeling of isolation. I believe we are stronger together. We need each other.
There are Moms of all kinds.
There are bereaved Moms of all kinds.
Again I ask:
What is your story?
What kind of a mom are you?
How many children do you have?
What are your favorite memories?
On a day which is so hard for so many people, I am sending out a prayer, a wish of love to blanket the pain with comfort and support.
Thank you for reading my memories of Zachary. I look forward to celebrating your cherished memories with you.
On top of posting here on Wanted Chosen Planned, I will be encouraging storytelling about loss and providing support for bereaved Moms on Twitter TODAY using the hastag #StillAMom
(You can find me on Twitter using my handle @_Alexis_Marie or by clicking here.)
Join in the conversation. Join with me in celebrating International Mother’s Day.
With love,
– Alexis Marie Chute
*** I will be including the videos I described above in the documentary. It will be shown by Shaw TV and, fingers crossed, in film festivals later this year and on other major networks. I will share on Wanted Chosen Planned when I have confirmed dates and stations.
HELPFUL LINKS:
Remember your baby on the Celebrating Sweeties Page.
Learn more about Wanted Chosen Planned.
Wanted Chosen Planned founder, Alexis Marie Chute, creates bereavement documentaries.
Book your Portrait of Healing in the art project “The Quiet Rebuild.”
Find a resource to meet you where you’re at.
Check-out the book list with helpful reading material.
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Get published on Wanted Chosen Planned. Submit your story by clicking here.
POSTS FROM INTERNATIONAL BEREAVED MOTHER’S DAY 2014 & 2015 & 2016:
Why it is important to celebrate International Bereaved Mother’s Day
Today is International Bereaved Mother’s Day: The Meaning of Motherhood
“Brave New Normal” Documentary, View the Trailer on International Bereaved Mother’s Day
International Bereaved Mother’s Day is this Sunday, May 3
Reminder: May 4 is Bereaved Mother’s Day, Download your free badge of honour