About Wanted Chosen Planned & Alexis Marie Chute

My name is Alexis Marie Chute. I am a professional artist, photographer and writer, but most importantly I am a wife to my amazing husband Aaron and mother to Hannah, Zachary who was born and died in 2010, Eden and Luca. My husband and children are the greatest loves of my life.

Below I will share a little bit about my story. If you’re interested in reading more, please check-out my memoir, Expecting Sunshine: A Journey of Grief, Healing and Pregnancy After Loss.

When I was pregnant with Zachary, doctors discovered he had a large tumor growing around his heart. Aaron and I struggled with this news as I underwent extensive testing to determine if there was a way to save our boy. Despite our best efforts and sincerest prayers, there was nothing we could do. Zachary passed away a few minutes after he was born and although his life was short, his impact on our family, on me specifically, was profound and transformative.

I spent the months and years since Zachary’s death being a student of grief and loss – experimenting with everything from avoidance to acceptance. I have tried many coping techniques and read a great number of helpful books (and some less than helpful ones as well). Throughout this time I tapped into my artistic sensibilities to express my sorrow and do the “work of grief,” which proved immensely beneficial. It was through this artwork that three words resonated with me: wanted, chosen, planned. They express my love for my first son. Through it all I discovered the amazing potential of creative expression – writing, art, photography, sculpture, music, dance – for finding myself and healing in the process.

Want to try using creativity to help with your grief? Try these Healing Art and Writing Projects.

My family celebrating what would have been Zachary’s third birthday. Photo copyright Alexis Marie Chute

My passion for Wanted Chosen Planned is to offer support, a listening ear and encouragement for those who have also loved and lost, all the while sharing my experiences and the methods of healing I found and continue to find helpful. I greatly value everyone who reads this blog and commend those of who choose to connect and share their journey in this community. Truly, at the core of my being, I believe that we are stronger together as we learn how to live after the loss of a child.

To Zachary: you are wanted, I choose you and although my plan for our lives will never be, you are always in my heart. Though you are not physically with me today, I remember and honour your life and dedicate this blog to you.

If you would like to share your story on Wanted Chosen Planned, please read here and get in touch: info@alexismariechute.com

To purchase a copy of Expecting Sunshine: A Journey of Grief, Healing and Pregnancy After Loss, please click here.