Encouraging Quotes
Every once and a while it is lovely to read quotes that inspire reflection and ignite revelation. As I put together this list of five quotes that spoke to me, I came away with the strong sense that: Blessings can be found in our sorrows. I have seen this to be true in my own life. I never would have imagined being thankful for all I have learned from Zachary’s death, but I have grown a great deal as a person as a result. Yes, I want my son back every day, but I see that I have discovered so many gifts in this life post-loss. My son helped me find my voice as a writer and artist. He helped me appreciate my living children and life in general. He gave me a mission: to support people like myself who are forced to live this “new normal” after loss. Zachary helped me...
Read MoreIt’s Better To Love
There are a lot of hoops to jump through when you go to school out of the country. As a Canadian about to start grad school in the States, I feel bogged down by paperwork. Some of that includes a health form regarding my immunization history. That is how I found myself in a health clinic today, realizing that I needed one more shot to be completely vaccinated. I’ve always loathed needles. Since I was small the very sight of them has brought out in me pitiful sobs and I begin to sweat, grow tense, wriggle and fidget. Today, the nurse commented on how well I did considering my phobia. I told her it’s due to the thousands (more like hundreds) of needles I had to endure leading up to and following Zachary’s birth and death, and in the nine months of genetics testing...
Read MoreLove is the True Healer
After writing about the cliché that says ‘time heals all wounds,’ I concluded that time is not our healer but our helper. Thus, my search continued to answer the question: Want can heal a broken heart? The answer is simple. It’s LOVE. No matter the type of loss, everything hinges on love. Many couples who have lost a child believe having another baby will heal them – but what is actually healing is LOVE. Having another baby is healing because it brings a tremendous amount of love into our lives in a very visceral and tangible way. Yet, if having a baby was the only way to heal after the loss of a child, what then for those who cannot have more children? Are they sentenced to a life without resolution to their pain? Of course not. Finding healing is not...
Read MoreWalk to Remember Speech by Alexis Marie Chute
Walk to Remember took place today and I am so thankful that I was asked to share words of encouragement with those who gathered. Here is my speech. I hope it touched those who attended the Walk but can also live on to encourage others who read it here on my blog. Love to you all. Walk to Remember 2012 – Children Remain in the Heart Hello, my name is Alexis Marie Chute. Thank you for the honor of speaking to you today. The first time I attended Walk to Remember I was 28 weeks pregnant with my second child, Zachary. My husband and I kept to ourselves, somberly observing. After the event, a sweet young woman approached, laid a hand on my stomach and with tears in her eyes, said, “You must be so happy to be pregnant again!” “Actually,” I told her as I hugged my baby...
Read MoreMothering After the Death of a Baby
It has been almost a month since I posted “An Unnamed Stage of Fear after the Loss of a Baby” and I still do not have concrete answers about how to mother without fear. I would love it if I could post a pretty list of ten things to do to parent normally after having lost a child but thinking about it only made my brain hurt. There are no easy answers. I did, however, have a breakthrough this morning that I think can help. My newborn slept through the night last night and while many mothers would be cheering, I woke frequently and watched the clock. I resisted the urge to run into my baby’s room every few minutes to make sure he was still breathing. Instead I continuously told myself, “Eden is okay. He’s fine. It’s okay…” Then I eventually heard him! While...
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