Having a Baby after Losing a Baby – 39 Weeks
I recently made a friend who had a stillborn baby not long ago. When we first met I was worried as I was very obviously pregnant. Instead of recoiling in disappointment, which would have been a very natural reaction, my new friend told me that my pregnancy was actually an encouragement for her. The fact that a woman can go on from losing a child to having a healthy pregnancy and baby is heartening and something she hopes for herself as well. I was surprised at this graceful and optimistic perspective and thus hope I can share here on Wanted, Chosen, Planned about my current pregnancy without causing pain for anyone who reads. I am 39 weeks pregnant and I had an epiphany the other day about the length of gestation as it relates to us who have lost a child: It is a...
Read MoreLet Go… or Carry on?
“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” -E.M. Forester I’m inspired by this quote by E. M. Forester, I really am, but letting go has such a negative connotation for us who grieve the loss of a child. It is against our parenting instincts. We want to hold our child close. If you get in a car accident or miss a job promotion it’s easier for people to say, “Let it go, it was just a possession, it was just a job. Something better is right around the corner.” Yes, many people who have lost a child to stillbirth, miscarriage or early infant loss do go on to have other children and find happiness, but the act of “letting go” is not the same. We don’t “let go” and forget. We don’t...
Read MoreQuoting Helen Keller – Thoughts for the Journey
Helen Keller – The Inspiration The life of Helen Keller is truly a story of bravery. When she was only 18 months old she fell ill and became both blind and deaf. Her family struggled but did all they could to help their daughter. They eventually found her an educator, Anne Sullivan, who taught Helen words by spelling them on the palm of Helen’s hand. Helen learned many other ways to communicate (touch-lip reading, Braille, speech and typing), she went to college, wrote 12 books and became a social activist to improve the lives of others. What would seem an insurmountable obstacle, to be both blind and deaf, became Helen Keller’s platform for a remarkable life. Many of Helen Keller’s words can be an encouragement for us who grieve the loss of our...
Read MoreMindfulness – Alive in our Moments
When your child dies, so does your future. It’s a harsh reality but it is true in many ways. Maybe you can relate to some of the thoughts I had after my son Zachary died: We decorated the nursery… when do we take it all down? Or do we? Can we bring another child back to this room? The family dynamic I had pictured is gone and along with it my idea for vacations, activities, dinnertime table-talk. My daughter will not have a sibling close in age. I put work on hold to have kids, now what? My son won’t skin his knees bike riding, he won’t graduate college, marry or have kids of his own. Am I always going to feel this ache of my missing child? I have forgotten what makes me happy, nothing seems to do the trick, and I don’t know what the purpose of my life...
Read MoreAlexis Marie Chute
